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The Key to Life

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That is right boys and girls – Communication is the true key to life and you can hold it in your hand, keep it in your pocket, put it on your key chain or even wear it as a necklace. Either way you decide to do it, just do it.  Take a moment to think about a time in your life where communication is not necessary….go ahead I will wait…did you find anything? Maybe when you are on the toilet or
sleeping, but you probably told someone you were using the bathroom and you probably told people you were going to bed, so you did communicate.

Lets not get caught up on the small bits of communication we spit out each day, I want to talk about the big picture. How about a relationship for example. I bet there are tons of you out there who will bitch and complain to friends about your significant other and not even try to fix your problems by communicating with your significant other. Did you know the majority of problems in a relationship stem from lack of communication? If I don’t know what you want how am I supposed to give it to you? Vice Versa. If you don’t like something they are doing just talk to them about it. Instead we always wait to the breaking point, where you just have had enough and you want to punch them in the throat. Why? For What? If you can’t just talk to your significant other like an adult – why the hell are you in a relationship? More than likely they probably don’t even know what is bothering you and unless you tell them they will continue on the same track, pissing you off, stressing you out, and leaving you to think horrible thoughts about them and the relationship you are in. This goes for a romantic relationship, work relationship, and a friend relationship. Communicate with one and other.

Communicate, get that ball to where it needs to be!

Communicate, get that ball to where it needs to be!

Have you ever watched a soccer game? There better be a Yes to that, because if you haven’t I feel like you should just close this browser and go take a nap and by nap I mean dirt nap. In a soccer game the ball goes back and forth between two goals, but how? How does the ball know where to go or who to get passed to? COMMUNICATION! The players talk to each other, tell the guy with the ball they are open, they are clear, they have a man on, this way who ever is attacking can get the ball where it needs to go. Now envision that ball as your life, your great path. The players are you and your friend, coworker, lover, etc….in order to get your life (the ball) where it needs to be, just communicate.

If you’re reading this – which I doubt you are because nobody reads my blog, but by the off-chance that you are and you are dealing with some madness with a relationship, try to talk to the person. I can almost guarantee you that it will turn out to be so much better and you will get that key to life in your grasp. Talk it out. Trust me on that one.

Here. I am handing you the key to life - will you take it and use it?

Here. I am handing you the key to life – will you take it and use it?

 

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Discover Imagination

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It’s an amazing feeling when you discover or stumble upon something new. Maybe it’s not new to everyone, maybe it’s not something recently erected, made, or developed, but it’s new to you. You can’t tell me this has never happened to you.

Today, my little brother and I decided to take a bike ride. I recently moved to Altamont (yes moved again) and there is this nice nature park right across the street. We decided to start a trail, but because I had to be at work at 3pm we decided to cut that trail short and head to the entrance of the park. It’s not a well-known park and it isn’t frequently traveled, so it is in amazing shape. There is a cabin, we didn’t get to see it, but there is a cabin further down in the trail and the paths stretch quite a distance. We can’t wait to explore them on a day we have more time! That is the first part of discovering new things.

On our way back we saw some old trucks in the woods and decided to go take a look. There were four older Chevy trucks, one of which I photographed and put on top of this post, just sitting there waiting to be pondered at. We admired the old beasts and then started talking about how it seems to be like the beginning of a crappy scary movie. Kids go into the woods and never come out…..dun dun dunnnnn!!

It is just a great feeling to discover something new. Play with it, inspect it, look around. The more new things you experience the broader your imagination will become.

Don’t force yourself to look for new things, you won’t find them like that. Just open your eyes and take a step to the left of the right. Take a different route to work or to the store. You’re bound to find something worthwhile.

In the meantime. Check out the Instagram account @RandomReels

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Dispatch Rant

I am pretty calm for this rant – but at the time of the situation I was pretty annoyed.

As many of you know, I am a dispatcher. Dispatching in my agency entails answering 911 calls and non-emergency calls, dispatching police units, fire units, and EMS. We also contact and dispatch other units like animal control, traffic control, traffic safety, and stuff like that.

Today’s rant has to do with phones.

1. Why in the FUCK are people still pranking 911? I thought that was cool to do when I was growing up and even then I only called 911 once. We had a “play” cell phone and we dialed 911 just messing around and then a lady started talking. What we didn’t know was that emergency calls from phones turned off still go out. Never did it again after that. We get constant 911 calls from people, kids, and even “butt dials” I am sorry, but if you’re butt dialing on a smart phone you have something wrong with your ass. THEN people sit there and tell me that they were trying to unlock their phone. What phone accidentally calls 911 when you are unlocking your phone?? Someone please educate me on that. IF you get a call from a police station and they say “this is the bla bla bla police, we got a 911 call from your number, is everything ok?” Don’t be a fucking dick about it. If it was an accident or you have no idea what we are talking about just say “hey, I’m not sure that I called you, but everything is ok here, sorry about that.” and we would just be like “ok, if you need anything please call us back.” BAM done. Is that how it really goes? Of course not. “this is bla bla bla police, we got a 911 call from your number, is everything……….”  -  “I didn’t call 911, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t call 911.”  - “ma’am you did call 911 and that is why I am calling you back, it was probably an accident, we are just making sure everything is ok there.” – “I DIDN’T CALL 911!” – mean while I am staring at a screen with caller ID – I repeat their number to them – they confirm it is theirs – then I kindly tell them that I didn’t just pick their name out of a hat and decide to harass them today. Seriously people?? Grow up.

2. Do NOT call 911 and say “well this is not an emergency” You are wasting my fucking time. If it is not an emergency what caused you to dial 911?? Did you get taught that 911 was the 411 in your area? If you have a question use your phone, use your computer, use a neighbor and ask your questions to them. 911 isn’t here to give you phone numbers, it isn’t here to tell you where your car is, it isn’t here to pick up a dead rabbit from the side of the road. A road you don’t even live on – or close to.  911 is for life/death situations, medical emergency, police emergencies, and fire emergencies. When I hear 911 I immediately think EMERGENCY, when they here 911 they think we are a directory to everything they need in life. NO NO NO.

3. Call quality. Take time to think. I am not in a tunnel, I am not in a dead zone, I am not in a limited service area. I am on a landline phone connected to a very expensive network. You are most likely on a cellphone – with limited coverage. When I say that I cannot hear you and you are cutting out, I’m not being an asshole. I am simply letting you know that I am not obtaining all of the information that you are spewing out. I am extremely sorry for that. I want your information. I want more information that you are even willing to give me. I am not telling you that I can’t understand you simply because I can/want to. Trust me – I want to get the information and get off the phone. There are probably other 911 lines ringing. Don’t yell at me. Don’t curse at me. Don’t hang up on me. I will call you back.

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Thats a weird place to put a deer….

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View of the sunset from the bros house

If you’re not from the country, you’re going to have a bad time.

My brother woke up early in the morning and followed through with his usual routine before making his commute to school. Prior to living in the country, he lived in a more suburban area with multiple houses close together and main roads nearby…he now lives in the country, farms all over the place, cows in the backyard…the works. He gets into his car and heads down the road to school. As he approaches a driveway he thinks, “That’s a weird place to put a deer.” You see, he is only used to those decorative deer people put in their yards – plus he hasn’t been driving that long – plus the kid is probably still half asleep, you all know how the drive to work in the morning is…well, seems he had to clean out his pants after the deer those neighbors placed in their driveway, ran across the street in front of his car. Country roads are a good life lesson to new drivers.

The past few days have been pretty great, I can’t complain. Even when I was sick for a while with a head cold I was still making the best of it, that being playing GTA V till near completion, but still. I recently got to hang out with the little brother for a few days (wed, thurs, fri) and do fun stuff. I even got to finally see one of his soccer games, I have been saying I’d go up there for the longest time, but never could make it, finally!! It was pretty great, besides sitting there on the sideline by myself, but hey it was good. I was alone in the sense that I didn’t know anyone else around me and they all sat on the opposite side of the bleachers as if I had the plague haha.

We even had the chance to make a little short film – 15-seconds at least. It is pretty great, not too much to it, but check it out. It is on my instagram, you can see it either by looking to the right on the instagram bar or searching me up on instagram @JoshR392  (I didn’t say you had to follow me) its a police skit full of humor.

I finally got my WordPress App fixed on my phone, for the longest time it wouldn’t let me log in. So, my pledge to give you a daily mash of 500 words or less is back on. Keep your eyes peeled! D:

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Sleeping w/ the puppy Sarge!

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Whipped CocoGasm W/ Berries

Fresh Strawberries, Almonds, Coconut Cream

Fresh Strawberries, Almonds, Coconut Whipped Cream

I created this delicious dessert with the help of Melissa Joulswan from the amazing paleo recipe book: Well Fed: Paleo Recipes for People Who Love to Eat. She calls it “Berries and Whipped Coconut Cream,” but it should really be called Whipped CocoGasm W/ Berries.

If you are looking for a fresh tasting dessert to back down your cravings for sugary substitutes while fasting your body from junk on a diet, please, please, please try this! Minimal effort used in prepping this masterpiece.

What you will need: (Ingredients Melissa Calls For w/ my added differences)

-1 Can (14.5 Ounces) coconut milk. 

 -I used 13.5 Ounces of Coconut Milk, made MORE than enough. 

-2 Cups Fresh berries: strawberries, raspberries, and/or blueberries

 -I used fresh strawberries, I wish I had some fresh blue berries to sprinkle on top. 

-1 teaspoon pure almond or vanilla extract

 -I used 1 teaspoon, there is a faint vanilla taste, add another TSP if you want more vanilla tasting cream.

-2 tablespoons sliced almonds

-I just poured a handful out into the pan. 

-2 tablespoons caramelized coconut chips

     -I didn’t caramelize my coconut chips/flakes I just threw them in w/ the almonds and browned them. 

Step One: CocoPrep

This recipe comes with a little preparation before just jumping right in. Your coconut milk needs to be nice and cold. It is recommended that you keep your milk in the refrigerator over night so it is thoroughly cold, but I left mine in from the morning till I got out of work at 11pm (about 8-9 hours) and it worked perfectly fine.

Before you start, take your can of coconut milk, the mixing bowl you are going to use and your mixing tool and place it in the freezer for a little bit.

Step Two: AlmonCoco Frenzy

-Grab your sliced almonds and your coconut chips/flakes and throw them in your skillet or pan on high temp. Constantly stir these little guys until they get a golden brown/crispy. Keep an eye on them because the hotter they get the faster they will just burn. My first batch burned black because I walked away for a second.

-Get them out into a separate bowl when finished. Maybe grab a few and stick them in your mouth and taste that great flavor of almond and coconut together.

***If you choose to caramelize your coconut flakes, it is probably best not to throw them in with the almonds, it is your choice.

Step Three: “Whip it Good!”

-Take your items out of the freezer, they should be really cold by now.

-Turn your can upside down and open it from the bottom. It took me a little bit of fighting, but I finally got it. Depending on the quality milk and the thickness it has become there might be some excess water that separated, dump that portion out.

-Add your milk to your mixing bowl and go ahead and your TSP of Vanilla Extract into the milk.

-Turn your mixer on to the highest setting, I used a regular hand mixer because I am too poor to have an amazing kitchen aid mixing stand, but this work just fine. You will be mixing this milk and vanilla on high-speed for about 5-8 minutes.

-Your mix should turn whip cream-like. It should be light and fluffy.

Step Four: Plating Genius 

-Grab a smaller bowl or a plate and throw your fruit onto it.

-Add a dollop or two (1-2 TBSP) of the whipped cream to your fruit.

-Sprinkle the AlmonCoco Frenzy over the top and some blueberries if you have them.

-Enjoy!!!

 

 

 

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Spicy Lemon Pineapple Chicken (SLPC)

I’m on this Paleo diet (or at least trying my best to be on this diet) and I came home from work, opened the fridge to see if I had anything to snack on and I was left with nothing, but Almonds and some Hazelnuts. I love nuts, you know they are delicious, but I just wasn’t feeling nuts in my mouth at that moment. Take a moment to get your mind out of the gutter. Don’t worry, I’ll wait. By my surprise I forgot that I took some chicken breast out to thaw, fuck it, let’s make some chicken. How can I make this different than usual though? My normal process is to chop it up, throw it in a pan with some dull spices and eat it like that with some select vegetables. I was feeling funky, this would be the night that SLPC was born!

Spicy Lemon Pineapple Chicken - Photo Credit Me

Spicy Lemon Pineapple Chicken – Photo Credit Me

What you will need:

-Chicken Breast – I used 5 breasts of chicken so I can portion it out throughout my week. I live alone. So, if you are cooking for a family try to portion out how much breasts you’ll actually need to grab. ;)

-A lemon – Try to get a semi-ripe lemon. It will be firm with a little squish to it. (1-2 slices)

-A Pineapple – I bought pre-sliced pineapples for my smoothie mixes, but feel free to buy a whole pineapple and chop it up yourself. (2-3 Cubes)

-Extra Virgin or Virgin Olive Oil (1 TBSP)

-An Assortment of Spices/Herbs:

  • Ground Pepper (Approx. 1 TBSP)
  • Red Pepper Flakes (Approx. 1 TBSP)
  • Oregano Leaves (Approx. 1 TSP)
  • Parsley (Approx. 1 TSP)
  • Sea Salt (Approx. 1 TSP or Pinch)
  • Cayenne Pepper Powder (Approx. 1 TSP)
  • Garlic Powder (Approx. 1 TBSP)
  • Garlic Salt (Approx. 1 TSP)

*Most of those are Approximate because we are messing with some spicy materials here. If you do not like your food to have a flame to it, use less than directed. If you like it with a flame to it, amp up the red pepper flakes and the cayenne pepper.

Here are the steps to create an amazing foodgasm:

Step One: Cooking Device

-Prepare your frying pan or Sauté Pan. I used a Paula Deen Signature Porcelain Red 5 QT Covered Deep Sauté Pan. (Yes, I was paid to mention that……no, not really) Stick it on your stove burner on a high temp. This would be your perfect medium high temp where you know shit won’t burn, but you know it will cook. We all have that one special notch in our knobs…

-Add in your olive oil

 Step Two: Chicken Prep

-Get that chicken out. I prefer my chicken to be organic, free roam, I feel like that chicken tastes and smells a whole lot better than the highly produced chicken that we are used to picking up at the store. Rinse or do not rinse? That is up to you, for this I did not rinse. Remove any fat or any veins that are still in the chicken so you have a nice looking couple of breasts staring you right in the face.

-Plop those breasts right into the pan, let them get cooking on the bottom side. While that is happening make sure you have your spices ready.

Step Three: Spice School

-Start with your most potent of spices (cayenne, red pepper, black pepper…) and sprinkle them all over the top side. Do not completely cover them, but make sure you can tell they are seasoned.

-As soon as you finish, flip them so their bottom is up. Now, follow the same step above. What you’re doing here is cooking those spices right into the chicken from the start. By the time you are done seasoning the bottom, flip them right back around. The top portion should be a little brown and you will notice that all of the spices are sticking right to the chicken.

-Congrats you just spiced the hell out of that chicken and gave it an amazing flavor….but wait, there is more!

Step Four: Lemon/Pineapple Fusion

-Grab your pineapple and your lemon. Place it right in the center of your pan, or in the areas of “negative chicken space” This means, the spaces between the chicken where you can just see straight down to the pan, plop them right in there and let them get cooking.

-Letting them cook will get them soft and allow their juices to spread through the pan under the chicken.

-Next – flip the chicken if needed. Should let the chicken sit on each side 3-5 minutes during each flip. Then place your pan lid on and let it get steamy in there.

Step Five: Juicy

-If you’re feeling brave, grab the lemon with your fingers (or use tongs..if you don’t have those, use to spoons) and squeeze out the remaining juices and rub them on the chicken. Let it sit for a minute. Flip the chicken over and squeeze juice onto the bottom.

-Repeat this step for the pineapples.

-Keep the pineapples and lemon slices in the pan and place the lid back on.

******Feel free to add a bit more spices as the process is cooking. The longer you cook, the more the spices will cook down, just remember the more potent spices will take a lot longer. So at this point you are probably losing the garlic powder, garlic salt, oregano taste….just add a bit more

Step Six: Just FORK it! 

-Your chicken should be tender enough to achieve this next task. There is a cheap trick to get flavors up through the chicken without marinating it for a day and night. You will not get that deep flavor though the chicken like marinating, but you will still get a fantastic taste indeed.

-Grab a fork or spork or whatever you can use to poke through the chicken. Poke all the way through the chicken in a few spots. Flip the chicken over and add a few more pokes. This will not make you lose the cosmetic goodness of your breasts…but what will it do?

-Well, at this point you should have quite a bit of juices floating around the bottom of your pan from the chicken, steam, and the fruit. Once you replace the lid back on, the steam will be allowed to travel from under the chicken, through then holes, thus delivering some flavor moisture to the tender meat inside. Trust me, it works.

Step Seven: Plating

-Once finished, your chicken should be a nice tender golden brown with visible spices sticking to it.

-Plate one breast on a plate and spoon some remaining juices on top of the breast to give it a more robust flavor. (foodgasm alert)

-I would add some asparagus to this and a side of salad (none of that iceberg stuff, use the good baby spinach stuff)

-Enjoy!

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Coming out…a work in progress

I made this myself. :D

I made this myself. :D

Coming out stories seem to be very popular, especially amongst those who are looking to come out to friends and family or those who are having difficult times understanding their lifestyle or coping with what they believe to be wrong. I usually do not share my coming out story with people because it was very emotional for me, it took me years to figure out exactly what I wanted, to be truly happy. I am hoping that people who are in this position get inspired to believe in themselves, realize that it is ok to be gay, and work to become themselves and be who they are truly meant to be.

I just wrote over 2,000 words as my coming out story….but to be honest, why do you need so many details. I am going to try to summarize as much as possible, you will get the full effect. Full emotional scale. Full everything. Enjoy.

I started out life as your typical straight male. I played in dirt, I got dirty, I worked with my dad on odd jobs, landscaping, plowing, etc, etc. I never thought about being gay, however, I did have a few gay experiences I guess you could say, with close friends. I summed that all up to just being curious…but as I got older I suppose that curiosity amplified. One example of that is when spending time with a best friend, he would do things that were gay. Anyone and everyone would say what he was doing was gay, but when you don’t know what you are or who you are, you just stay safe. I stayed straight. I pushed him away whenever he would do those things, but in my mind I loved it, I wanted more, but wouldn’t allow him to give me more and I never gave him any more. There is so much he did to fit into this, but lets just say it took everything I had to not make it a “hard” situation sometimes. Basically, he would try to cuddle, try to kiss, try to hump me, chased me down with a boner, and more….so much more. We never “did” anything with each other, it was more like a serious of failed events that I wish didn’t fail…I’m not sure how he thought.

mom

After a while him and I moved apart just like we do with a lot of our friends. My curiosities didn’t move apart from me though. I moved to playgirl magazines that I found in my basement, quenching some of my curiosities. Why do I like guys? I don’t, I’m must curious and it is completely normal to be curious. I’m straight. That was my mind-set for the longest time. Once playgirl didn’t quench my curiosities I moved on to the wonderful world-wide web. Gay porn and the online “closeted” gay community. I spent some time talking to guys about being gay, gay experiences, and all that. I even stooped to a level to webcam with a guy. Looking back now it just makes me laugh at how immature I was.

The more I tried to quench my curiosities, the more angry I got with myself. I CANNOT BE GAY! EVERYONE IS GOING TO HATE ME! Those and other hateful thoughts ran through my head. How can I be gay? Why me? What is wrong with me? I would cry for hours, cry myself to sleep sometimes. I separated myself away from my family and stooped into a depression that I hope to never get into ever again. I was angry at myself and in turn angry at everything else. I fought with family, I broke things, I punched things….I hated myself. I eventually went to the darkest part of my mind and contemplated suicide.

Suicide isn’t the answer to anything. I never attempted suicide, but I did think about it and how I would do it. Even writing this out right now sends weird feelings through my body, a scared-nervous feeling, and I can feel tears building up in my eyes. I’m not a mean or angry person, it takes a lot to get me to yell at you, be angry with you, or become dark. When I get that angry, my vision becomes tunneled and I end up doing things I wish I didn’t. Most times I don’t even remember, luckily I have never hurt anyone or destroyed my life or anyone else’s. I have only broken things…punched some walls, hurt my hand…

If you’re at the point where you are contemplating suicide…STOP. It may seem like that is the easiest way, but why give up? If you give up LIFE has just won…are you not a fighter? Fight back, kick life right in the balls and say I’M STAYING, I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! Getting over that will give you the strength you need to figure yourself out, I wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t true. If you need someone to talk to and you can’t find anyone please, please PLEASE talk to me. I have talked to many people and those people come back to me and tell me how much I helped them change their lives. Comment below OR email me at mishmashedmail@gmail.com I WILL REPLY.

After this, I received a FB message – my ex – and started being gay – in the flesh. I was the happiest person because I really found what felt comfortable. I’ve done things with girls, but guys were just so much better and when I realized that, I knew I had to be gay. BUT! I still thought of myself as Bisexual because I thought holding on to some type of “straight” profiling made me better than being gay. I fought myself continually, anytime anyone would say I was gay I would fight back and say I’m Bisexual. It is really tough to find yourself and I would still continue to fight myself for 2 years.

2 years later I started to trust my gay side, leaned more towards being gay not bisexual…because I was in a relationship, why would I be bisexual, it’s not like I’m available to date anyone…I’m dating a dude, so I’m gay right? Fast forward 2 more years, I break up with my ex…and then my thoughts go back. I start talking to my ex-girlfriend again, I start talking to other girls, and I start to question whether or not I am really gay. Why is this happening to me again, I just spent almost 4 years with a dude………..

Well, I did my fun – met other guys, one night stands and I hated it. I am a super picky dude…took me ever to find someone to do anything with and most times when I did..I was like never mind. I dated a few guys, tried dating a girl, but couldn’t bring myself to do anything with her. That is when it hit me. I am a strong independent black woman who needs no man! No, in all seriousness, I just realized that I was a homo…in and out.

Today.

Today I am gay. I am proud to be gay. I hate the gay flag though, I think it could have been a lot better, maybe with like a falcon soaring through the sky with, maybe with a gay flag in his talons. We are fierce…I guess. I have a boyfriend whom I love and I can’t wait to share a future with him. I came out to my family easily, told them I was gay, they were OK with it. My retard father told me it was hard for him to comprehend….I could care less about what he thinks honestly, he’s a bitch. My mom, loves it. My uncle is gay, my cousin is gay. My friends are awesome with it, I made tons of new friends with it. Most people though think I am kidding, I am not a “visual/audible” gay. Meaning you can’t look at me and think I’m gay and my voice isn’t gay. Most guys have a tell, a gay side, but I guess my gay side is just liking dudes….I’m pretty manly and I’m not just saying that to make myself sound butch. If you met me you’d know. I still have some heart dropping moments like when I became facebook official with my babe – super hard, I was scared what everyone on facebook would think. Plus! I am friends with co-workers on facebook, what would they think? I hit that confirm button when he added us in a relationship though. I felt a huge relief. So many people liked it, so many people commented on it and nothing in my life changed….other than the fact that I grew even more comfortable with myself. With my ex I never did anything in public with him, with C I held his hand in public, kissed him, hugged him, held him….everything. Well, haha, not everything, I think that’s illegal. So, coming out….a work in progress is true. I feel like I am 98% out – I just need to not hesitate so much in public. Once that happens I will be 100% gay. 

“I wanted to tell you that I’m gay…been keeping it a secret for a long time, but I am ready to tell people.”

“Josh, you’re an asshole! People really have a hard time with coming out and being gay and you’re sitting here making fun of it!”

“…but…really! I am gay, I like guys!”

true story

That was a simplified version of my gayness – if you have any questions I am more than willing to answer them. Email me or comment below I am always open for a conversation. I also have KIK – JoshR392 – I always have my phone with me, if you need advice or help of any kind, please just ask.

Just remember, nothing is ever too hard to get through. Life is a test. I am not sure why we are being tested,  but if you get through these tests you will be, I guarantee you will, be a better person, stronger person, and you will be set for life.

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